I know who I was… who am I now?

Before I became pregant, I knew who I was. I knew I loved my career in advertising, traveling, seeing lots of movies, going to sporting events, getting drinks with friends, making dinner at home with my hubby, eating out, sleeping in, relaxing, going to concerts, reading books, searching the internet and so on…

As my baby turns 1 year old, I wonder, how many of those things that defined me are left? Hmmm… not many.

1. Job – I quit my advertising career to stay at home with my baby.
2. Travel – I have only traveled once in the last year and it was to see my in-laws.
3. Movies – Before rushing off to see Sex in the City, the last movie I saw in the movie theater was Ocean’s 13 over a year ago!
4. Sporting events – The last sporting event I went to was last August 07 and managed to flash my boob to the stadium while trying to feed by 2 month old baby. Classy.
5. Drinks with friends – Nope.
6. Make dinner. That is something I do more now than I did before but I don’t really enjoy it as I’m either rushed by the need to feed a little human or that it is after he went to bed and it is already 8 pm and I’m famished.
7. Going out to dinner – Not really. If we do, it is so darn early due to the baby’s schedule its not a night out. My mom does babysit so we can have a date night which is great! We need to take her up on that more often.
8. Sleep in? What is that?
9. Relax? I am able to do this occasionally but then I feel guilty like I need to work on the hundreds of things on my to do list.
10. Concerts – We did manage to hit up Jill Scott and Jose Gonzalez but that is it in the last year.
11. Read books… well, I am in a book club. I go to the meetings. I don’t read the books. oops. My bad.
12. Search the internet. I do a good amount of that still but I really hope that isn’t defining me, how sad! I have to keep connected to the outside world somehow.

I give my all to my baby, half-ass to my hubby, some for the dog and cat and not much for myself. So, I’m at a point where I need to figure out what makes me happy, fulfilled and joyful before I lose all of myself.

I am not complaining. Rather, writing it down to encourage me to take action.

Here is what I do know about me and a little about my current life:

1. I love my baby more than anything in this entire world.
2. I love my husband more than anything in this world (except the baby, sorry…)
3. I love my family. I am so lucky to have my mom and sister close to me. We are lucky to have a really close relationship.
4. I love music and manage to dance with Jayden daily!
5. I love TiVo and watching my favorite shows Grey’s Anatomy, 24, Ugly Betty, Brothers and Sisters, Gossip Girl (did I just say that out loud?!), How I Met Your Mother (sans Britney), Men in Trees and Entourage. Oh and can’t forget American Idol and So you think you can dance. Gotta throw some reality in there!
6. I love running my business, FiveHumans, with my 3 friends and hubby. I have been working on marketing and design and I am really enjoying it. Of course it is challenging running a company and trying to fit it in to life with a baby but it is totally worth it. I love the charity aspect as it has felt personally rewarding to give back. I have also enjoyed learning about causes / diseases I didn’t know about, meeting people affected and hearing their story.

I’m hoping to add to this list in the near future as I reinvent my new life with a baby!