Money. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to worry about it. Worry. Sometimes I do it too much! This economy has me in a tailspin of endless thoughts and evenings spent with an upset stomach. Can we pay the bills? How long will we afford to be be on COBRA (overly expensive health insurance we don’t use)? Will our business make it through the recession? Will I find a full time job? Will we ever be able to sell our house?! Yikes!!
We decided that getting a job would help alleviate some of the financial burden. Leaving Jayden in someone else’s care was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make in my life. I was ready for adult interaction. In fact, I had grand dreams of chatting about Project Runway next to the espresso machine, but that didn’t make the decision any easier. I did convince myself that this would all be worth it when I found a good job with good co-workers. That job never came! After 3 months of searching, I finally found a part-time, contract gig… that I can’t stand! Sure, the people are nice and quirky but the work is a bore. The worst part is, everyone thinks it is important and difficult and I feel like I could do it in my sleep. Not a challenge in sight!
So, I struggle with the fact that I am not with my son during the day, not making a full paycheck, don’t have any benefits and am bored to death. However, should I feel lucky? I HAVE A PAYCHECK (even thought not ideal) and am able to contribute to our family financial jaunt on the tightrope. I feel like I should appreciate what I have, enjoy it for what it is worth and keep looking for that next great job!
