I’m so excited! College football season is here!! My team is the Washington State University Cougars and last year, we won 2 games… Lame! My husband roots for USC Trojans. Which, of course has been in the top 5 for what seems like forever. I’ve grown to like them and root for them when they aren’t playing the cougs.
I love how everyone is so passionate about their team and how any team could win any day. You never know what’s gonna happen!!
I’m excited it is starting but sad as it means summer is coming to an end.
Money. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to worry about it. Worry. Sometimes I do it too much! This economy has me in a tailspin of endless thoughts and evenings spent with an upset stomach. Can we pay the bills? How long will we afford to be be on COBRA (overly expensive health insurance we don’t use)? Will our business make it through the recession? Will I find a full time job? Will we ever be able to sell our house?! Yikes!!
We decided that getting a job would help alleviate some of the financial burden. Leaving Jayden in someone else’s care was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make in my life. I was ready for adult interaction. In fact, I had grand dreams of chatting about Project Runway next to the espresso machine, but that didn’t make the decision any easier. I did convince myself that this would all be worth it when I found a good job with good co-workers. That job never came! After 3 months of searching, I finally found a part-time, contract gig… that I can’t stand! Sure, the people are nice and quirky but the work is a bore. The worst part is, everyone thinks it is important and difficult and I feel like I could do it in my sleep. Not a challenge in sight!
So, I struggle with the fact that I am not with my son during the day, not making a full paycheck, don’t have any benefits and am bored to death. However, should I feel lucky? I HAVE A PAYCHECK (even thought not ideal) and am able to contribute to our family financial jaunt on the tightrope. I feel like I should appreciate what I have, enjoy it for what it is worth and keep looking for that next great job!
So, here I am. Over a month later and I haven’t been blogging. I always feel like I am too busy and don’t have enough time – and I feel that way about nearly everything in my life but, surely, there has got to be time for something!! I think it really boils down to prioritizing things in my life. I find it tough to determine what is most valuable to me and how I want to spend my time (besides being around my son). Sometimes life feels so overwhelming but I think if I make a few goals and organize my life, I will become a more productive, happy and energized human!
Sounds like a huge task to take on but I think it must be done. Now, if I can only find the time to do the review of my life! I guess that should be priority #1!
We don’t get much sun in Seattle and I think it only visited us for about a month or two this year so there wasn’t even much opportunity to soak it in. This is the time of year that I almost feel gross because I look like a ghost. I never spend much time in the sun, anyway, because I don’t want wrinkles but I can’t stand being so pale. I was thinking that maybe I should add a spray tan to my christmas list so I can try one out but I’m afraid I’ll mess up like Ross did on Friends.
I’m terrified of looking orange or being uneven which is why I can’t use lotion. I don’t want to look like I live in California or anything… just like I am alive.
I think I am pretty lucky compared to a lot of other people in this country. My house is valued higher than my loan (but I can’t sell it), we have health insurance (unfortunately expensive COBRA), my husband has a job (contract that can end at any moment), I have a healthy, beautiful baby boy (that I need to feed and clothe) and I live in a vibrant city (that is extremely expensive). In Seattle, it felt like we weren’t going to be touched by the downturn in the economy but over the past few months, I am starting to feel it. It is in the air. I can’t stop worrying that bad luck is going to come knock at my door and everything that is held together by thin string will fall apart. Maybe its the pessimist in me but I can’t seem to relax. I have been trying to find a job for almost 3 months now and no luck! We are paying for J to be in daycare to save his spot, we can’t afford it but if we lose the spot, will be on a 6 to 9 month waiting list for an opening when I do get a job!! We are a month or two away from being “out of money” and I feel so helpless.
I am trying to think about things in a calm, realistic way. Would we really be out of money? We would be able to pull money out of our 401(k) to pay the mortgage and actually be able to stay afloat for a while. Is that smart to do? NO, but, neither is foreclosure if you can prevent it. We are young and have plenty of time to recover. I just wouldn’t be able to tell my financial planner. She’d kill me. We’ll be ok. The economy will turn around. I’ll find a job. We’ll be able to pay the mortgage. Yep. Sure. You betcha.
I have stopped reading articles and watching videos on how crappy our economy is. Getting obsessively involved won’t help the situation. There is a part of me that feels everyone really doesn’t get how bad we are and how bad it could get. Are we in denial? Most of us didn’t live during the Great Depression. Tough times to many of my friends mean they can’t get a new purse and have to go out to dinner less. Actually, many of my friends aren’t even that affected!! It’s so bizarre.
I hope that we survive this storm and that citizens of our country will come out being smarter with money, appreciating the things we have and never taking anything for granted. I don’t want to see what this place will look like if we don’t.
I was watching a speech by Barack Obama about that corrupt Governor in Illinois trying to sell his senate seat. He barely mentioned it and went on to talk about global warming and such with Al Gore and VP Elect Joe Biden. What I got a kick out of was that it sounded as if someone was typing on a typewriter everything he was saying when, in fact, it was just a bunch of photos being taken non-stop. Now, I’m not that in to political photography but I can’t imagine we would need that many pictures of Obama, Gore and Biden sitting at a table?? I know, random. The things I get a chuckle out of these days…
When I started my blog, I didn’t think I’d actually like doing it. I ended up blogging quite a bit and found that I really enjoyed talking about wat is going on in my life with total strangers. There is a sense of freedom in saying what you want to say and not worrying about what people think.
Life got a little busy and I was feeling so overwhelmed that I stopped blogging unintentionally. Things are still crazy but I miss my outlet and have a need to share what is going on in life. My goal is to just start blogging whenever I can and hopefully it will make me feel better!
I always feel better and am more relaxed when I know what to expect versus just assuming what something will be like. I have been so anxious about the future daycare plans that I couldn’t stop getting emotional about it. I mean, how many times can you cry about it before it isn’t normal?! In order to make myself better, I needed to explore a few daycares, learn what Jayden would be doing all day and imagine how this will all fit in my life.
Unfortunately, most daycares are running 6 – 18 month waiting lists. Who knew I’d have to plan on going back to work at 15 months before Jayden even popped out of me. Would have been nice for someone to let me know! Anyway… I got a recommendation from a friend on where she takes her baby but it was way farther away than either of us ideally would like to drive. We decided we may as well check it out since she has an opening and is affordable. I wasn’t sure what to expect but the moment I saw the daycare mama, I felt instantly at ease. She is a born caregiver. We were able to talk for a while and really got along well with her! I never thought an in home daycare would be what I wanted but it feels WAY more personal. She talked about working on positives or negatives with Jayden together as a partnership so that he gets the same reinforcement from home or daycare. Jayden gave her and her husband a hug before we left! We left there feeling pretty positive and after visiting a few more standard daycares, we decided we wanted to go with her. She had 2 other families interested in her open spot so it wasn’t a done deal. I called her tonight and she said she LOVED Jayden and would LOVE to have him!! YAY!
I’m still very sad about leaving him but there is something comforting knowing that he will get to play with kids and learn all day. I know he will have a great time and will be in good hands. Plus, I am further along with my job interviews and am actually looking forward to going back to work. I am starting to believe this will be a good situation after all. Let’s see how I feel after the first few days…
After 15 months of staying at home raising my son, I find myself looking for a job to help pay the bills. I’m really saddened by this and have spent many hours crying about it. I try to rationalize it by saying many parents have to put their child in daycare at 6 weeks or 3 months old and so I’ve been lucky to be with Jayden for 15. However, it doesn’t change how I feel!
When I was younger, I always thought I’d want to be a working mother, I was a career person. Having a child changed all of that. There isn’t anything I can do about it but be grateful for what I have and know that everything will be OK.
There are a few positive aspects – many of which I am trying to not feel guilty about!
1. I am looking forward to having a bit of time for ME during the day. Yes, I will be working but I will get alone time.
2. We will have more money – can pay the bills, buy things I have cut back on and go on vacation and trips to see the in-laws in CA.
3. This may sound bad – but, I feel like I will appreciate my time with Jayden more than I do now. I enjoy my time with him now but often am not sure what to do with him (did I just admit that out loud?!).
I think being at daycare will be more difficult for me than Jayden. He will get to hang out with his new buddies all day, he will learn a ton, and he will be cared for. I am not going to leave him with anyone that doesn’t truly care about him. Now, if only there weren’t 6 – 18 month waiting lists for daycare!!
I am working on staying positive but I know the first day I leave him behind, I am going to completely lose it and hope I am able to make it through the day. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Wish me luck!
So, I have been following the vaccination schedule my doctor recommends for Jayden and I haven’t really thought much about it because it is something all kids go through, right? Well, it seems that many more parents are opting out of getting these vaccines because of fears of autism, too many shots at too young of an age isn’t good, being natural, etc. Washington State is in the bottom 5 of states with regards to the number of kids being immunized.
I’ve been doing some research to educate myself on both sides of the issue and am trying to make a decision about future vaccinations. I feel that with anything you do in life, some amount of things can go wrong. It would be horrible if Jayden’s life was altered due to a vaccination. I’m freaked out at the possibility of something going wrong, of his little immune system not being able to handle something and that maybe he’ll react negatively to the shot. I don’t know what I would do if something happened to him.
At the same time, these vaccines were created for a reason. People DIED from these diseases the vaccines are intended to prevent. Massive amounts of people. So, is it safer to take your chances versus letting a disease make a come back and take the lives of innocent people?
Do you know they now have a vaccine for the Chicken Pox? I thought that was a relatively easy thing to get through besides all the itching but apparantly you can get shingles from it so they figure it is better to prevent it. Are we going to have vaccines for everything??
My gut feeling is that Jayden should get the vaccines and everything will be ok but am I just blindly trusting the doctors that are just “practicing medicine”? Do I listen to the parents who say their kids have died right after getting a vaccine? The parents that say their child was altered and has never been the same? The government that put these vaccines in place to protect us?
What is the right thing to do?? I’m totally stressed out.
